Dual....:-)
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
