We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
