He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
