But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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