I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
