Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
