I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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