I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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