Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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