so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I didn't notice because vodka
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
