Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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