the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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