doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
