Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
