This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
