please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize