Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
