Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
