He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize