Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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