Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
