It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
