dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize