It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
