2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
