We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
