I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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