She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
