I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
