your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
