You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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