Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
