Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
