So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
