those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You may now shotgun with the bride
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
