so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
