You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need to sanitize my soul.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
