I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
