Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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