well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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