people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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