I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize