remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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