Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
