I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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