Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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