just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
