I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I want a musical about memes.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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