no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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