You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just cut my nipple shaving
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
