But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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