So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
