Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
