Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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