Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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