It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish my penis had a tongue
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize