Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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