chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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