My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
