oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
