So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
