My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
