the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
